When Swamy Rāmānuja Came Home
There are some moments in our life which look very ordinary when they happen. Only much later do we understand how precious they were.
I still remember my first journey to Tirukkurungudi and the words of that old priest.
“Your journey to the Divya Desams is Acharyar’s sankalpam. Keep thanking your Acharyar. Keep reciting Śrīmate Rāmānujāya Namaḥ.”
Those words stayed with me.
I was so happy that the mantra of our Acharyar had come to me at such a sacred place. From then on, I started reciting it almost with every breath.
But something else happened.
A deep thirst grew within me.
I wanted to know about Swamy Rāmānuja.
Who was this great Acharyar?
What had he done?
Why did his name create such a strange feeling within me?
I started searching everywhere.
I bought books.
I bought CDs.
I searched for every small piece of information I could find.
One book took me to another. One Acharyar led me to another. One incident opened another door.
The more I learnt, the more I realised how little I knew.
But I was not disappointed.
I was happy.
There was a thirst to know more.
And that thirst has never left me.
Then came another small incident
I remember going to Sri Parthasarathy Temple.
After having darshan of the Lord, I prayed for something very simple.
I wanted a deity of Swamy Rāmānuja for worship at home.
I did not know where I could get one.
As I came out, I was reciting inwardly Śrīmate Rāmānujāya Namaḥ
Then a Srivaishnava wearing a beautiful Ūrdhva Puṇḍra came along with me.
Somehow he understood what I was looking for and took me to a small shop.
There He was Swamy Rāmānuja.
I still remember the happiness I felt.
I had prayed to Perumal for the Acharyar.
And somehow, the Acharyar had found His way to me.
I brought Him home.
Our home, Thiruvengadam, slowly began to change.
At that time I had no idea what was going to happen.
The Acharyar did not come alone
Slowly, the Āḻvārs came.
Then the Acharyas came.
Then the Śāligrāmas came.
One or two Śāligrāmas became many.
Then many more.
There came a time when the vessels and trays I was using for their tirumanjanam were no longer sufficient.
I had to bring bigger trays.
Sometimes I would smile when I looked at them.
I remembered the Matsya Avatāra, where the little fish kept growing and growing.
Something similar seemed to be happening in our Thiruvengadam.
The Śāligrāmas whom I worshipped and offered tirumanjanam were increasing.
Devotees who came to our home would sometimes bring another Śāligrāma and leave Him with me for worship.
I slowly understood something.
When Acharyar decides to come, He brings the whole family.
His name became part of my day
My day would begin with Swamy Rāmānuja.
I would recite His name.
I would fall at His lotus feet.
Whenever I went out, I would remember Him.
Whenever I started some work, I would remember Him.
During my occupational life, there were many pressures and difficult situations.
There were meetings that would go on and on.
Many times, I would be looking at the clock because my mind was already at the temple.
The meetings were normally expected to finish around 6:30 in the evening.
And surprisingly, on several occasions, the meeting would be postponed.
Sometimes the work for which I was required would suddenly become unnecessary.
Sometimes something would change at the last moment.
I began to feel that Acharyar was somehow making sure that I did not miss His service.
I cannot prove it to anyone.
I don’t want to prove it.
But that was the feeling in my heart.
I trusted Him.
From Two to Twenty
The Divya Prabandham recitations also slowly became part of this journey.
On the Thirunakshatrams of the Āḻvārs, we started reciting their Prabandhams in the temple.
In the beginning, sometimes only two of us would be there.
I would pray:
“Acharya, please bring a few more devotees. Let more people join this recitation.”
Slowly the number increased.
Two became several.
Several became many.
Eventually, nearly twenty devotees were participating.
Whenever I looked at them, I felt grateful.
I had only prayed.
Something else had brought them.
The Āḻvārs came home too
Around the time of the Sahasrābdhi celebrations of Swamy Rāmānuja, the Āḻvār deities also came to our home.
Our Thiruvengadam began to feel like a small world of its own.
The Acharya was there.
The Āḻvārs were there. The Acharyas were there.
The Śāligrāmas were there. The festivals began.
The recitations continued. And somehow, by His abundant mercy, we have not missed the festivals till today.
The gathering also kept growing.
I could only look at all this and think:
“What am I really doing? Perhaps I am only being allowed to participate in something that Acharyar Himself has arranged.”
Then came another desire
I developed a strong desire to give Swamy Rāmānuja’s deity to devotees.
I wanted other homes to have the Acharyar.
Around twelve Rāmānuja deities came to our home.
Before giving each deity to a devotee, I would perform the purification rites and recite several mālās of Śrīmate Rāmānujāya Namaḥ.
Every month, on Thiruvadhirai, we would invite the devotee, offer Mahāprasādam and then give the Acharyar deity to them for worship.
One by one, all twelve deities reached their homes.
And I was told that the devotees continued to bring their Acharyar for the temple utsavams and worship Him regularly.
That gave me immense happiness.
Not because I had given something.
Because I had been allowed to become an instrument in taking Swamy Rāmānuja into another home.
Looking back
Sometimes I think about how this started. An old priest at Tirukkurungudi told me:
“Keep reciting Śrīmate Rāmānujāya Namaḥ.”
I began reciting. Then I developed a thirst to know about the Acharyar.
I started searching for books. Then I prayed for His deity. A devotee appeared and took me to a shop.
Swamy Rāmānuja came home. Then the Āḻvārs came. The Acharyas came.
The Śāligrāmas came. The recitations began.
The devotees came. And then Swamy Rāmānuja began travelling from our home into other homes.
I cannot say that I planned all this. I certainly did not.
That is why I keep wondering… Was I really searching for the Acharyar?
Or was the Acharyar slowly arranging everything so that I would find Him?
A lesson I am still learning
I had started this journey as a religious person.
I followed what my elders had taught me. I visited temples.
I performed what I was supposed to perform.
But something was missing.
There was not yet that deep inner thirst.
Tirukkurungudi changed something in me.
That old priest changed something in me.
The mantra changed something in me.
And Swamy Rāmānuja slowly became more than someone I worshipped.
He became someone I depended upon. That dependence is still incomplete.
I still have my shortcomings.
I still have my ego. I still have much to learn. But I no longer want to remain where I was. Perhaps that itself is another mercy.
“Perumal…”
I did not know what I was asking for when I first prayed for Swamy Rāmānuja.
I thought I was asking for a deity to worship.
You gave me much more. You gave me the Acharyar.
You brought His name into my breath, His form into my home, His teachings into my thoughts and His devotees into my life.
Let me never think that any of this is my achievement.
Let me always remember that I am only an instrument.
Let me never lose the thirst to know my Acharyar.
Let every breath continue to remember the name that first awakened something within me.
Śrīmate Rāmānujāya Namaḥ
“Sometimes we think we are searching for the Acharyar. Perhaps the greater mercy is that the Acharyar has already begun searching for us.”
“I went looking for one deity. He brought an entire family home.”
“I started by reciting His name. Slowly His name began to become part of my life.”
I stood before Swamy Rāmānuja in our Thiruvengadam for a long time.
The altar looked different from the one I had known years ago.
The Acharyar was there. The Āḻvārs were there. The Acharyas were there.
The Śāligrāmas were there.
And I felt very small.
I had gone looking for Him.
But looking back now, I could only feel that He had been looking for me all along.
Perhaps that was another milestone in this journey.
The journey from being born a Vaiṣṇava… to slowly becoming one in spirit
to be continued …….
Śrīmate Rāmānujāya Namaḥ
Adiyen Rāmānujadāsan
Pictures : Google Images
Previous posts in the series JOURNEY WITHIN is appended in the blog posts below
